feat: first implementation of honeypot logic

This is a bit of an experiment, stick with me.

The core idea here is that badly written crawlers are that: badly
written. They look for anything that contains `<a href="whatever" />`
tags and will blindly use those values to recurse. This takes advantage
of that by hiding a link in a `<script>` tag like this:

```html
<script type="ignore"><a href="/bots-only">Don't click</a></script>
```

Browsers will ignore it because they have no handler for the "ignore"
script type.

This current draft is very unoptimized (it takes like 7 seconds to
generate a page on my tower), however switching spintax libraries will
make this much faster.

The hope is to make this pluggable with WebAssembly such that we force
administrators to choose a storage method. First we crawl before we
walk.

The AI involvement in this commit is limited to the spintax in
affirmations.txt, spintext.txt, and titles.txt. This generates a bunch
of "pseudoprofound bullshit" like the following:

> This Restoration to Balance & Alignment
>
> There's a moment when creators are being called to realize that the work
> can't be reduced to results, but about energy. We don't innovate products
> by pushing harder, we do it by holding the vision. Because momentum can't
> be forced, it unfolds over time when culture are moving in the same
> direction. We're being invited into a paradigm shift in how we think
> about innovation. [...]

This is intended to "look" like normal article text. As this is a first
draft, this sucks and will be improved upon.

Assisted-by: GLM 4.6, ChatGPT, GPT-OSS 120b
Signed-off-by: Xe Iaso <me@xeiaso.net>

internal/honeypot/honeypot.go

@@ -0,0 +1,23 @@
+package honeypot
+
+import (
+	"time"
+
+	"github.com/prometheus/client_golang/prometheus"
+	"github.com/prometheus/client_golang/prometheus/promauto"
+)
+
+var Timings = promauto.NewHistogramVec(prometheus.HistogramOpts{
+	Namespace: "anubis",
+	Subsystem: "honeypot",
+	Name:      "pagegen_timings",
+	Help:      "The amount of time honeypot page generation takes per method",
+	Buckets:   prometheus.ExponentialBuckets(0.5, 2, 32),
+}, []string{"method"})
+
+type Info struct {
+	CreatedAt time.Time `json:"createdAt"`
+	UserAgent string    `json:"userAgent"`
+	IPAddress string    `json:"ipAddress"`
+	HitCount  int       `json:"hitCount"`
+}

internal/honeypot/naive/100bytes.css

@@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
+html {
+  max-width: 70ch;
+  padding: 3em 1em;
+  margin: auto;
+  line-height: 1.75;
+  font-size: 1.25em;
+}

internal/honeypot/naive/naive.go

@@ -0,0 +1,120 @@
+package naive
+
+import (
+	_ "embed"
+	"log/slog"
+	"math/rand/v2"
+	"net/http"
+	"time"
+
+	"github.com/TecharoHQ/anubis/internal/honeypot"
+	"github.com/TecharoHQ/anubis/lib/store"
+	"github.com/a-h/templ"
+	"github.com/google/uuid"
+	"github.com/m1/gospin"
+)
+
+//go:generate go tool github.com/a-h/templ/cmd/templ generate
+
+// XXX(Xe): All of this was generated by ChatGPT, GLM 4.6, and GPT-OSS 120b. This is pseudoprofound bullshit in spintax[1] format so that the bullshit generator can emit plausibly human-authored text while being very computationally cheap.
+//
+// It feels somewhat poetic to use spammer technology in Anubis.
+//
+// [1]: https://outboundly.ai/blogs/what-is-spintax-and-how-to-use-it/
+//
+//go:embed spintext.txt
+var spintext string
+
+//go:embed titles.txt
+var titles string
+
+//go:embed affirmations.txt
+var affirmations string
+
+func New(st store.Interface, lg *slog.Logger) *Impl {
+	spin := gospin.New(nil)
+
+	return &Impl{
+		st:    st,
+		infos: store.JSON[honeypot.Info]{Underlying: st, Prefix: "honeypot-infos"},
+		spin:  spin,
+		lg:    lg.With("component", "honeypot/naive"),
+	}
+}
+
+type Impl struct {
+	st    store.Interface
+	infos store.JSON[honeypot.Info]
+	spin  *gospin.Spinner
+	lg    *slog.Logger
+}
+
+func (i *Impl) makeAffirmations() []string {
+	result, err := i.spin.SpinN(affirmations, rand.IntN(5)+1)
+	if err != nil {
+		i.lg.Debug("can't spin affirmations, using fallback", "err", err)
+		return []string{uuid.NewString()}
+	}
+
+	return result
+}
+
+func (i *Impl) makeSpins() []string {
+	result, err := i.spin.SpinN(spintext, rand.IntN(8)+8)
+	if err != nil {
+		i.lg.Debug("can't spin text, using fallback", "err", err)
+		return []string{uuid.NewString()}
+	}
+
+	return result
+}
+
+func (i *Impl) makeTitle() string {
+	result, err := i.spin.Spin(titles)
+	if err != nil {
+		i.lg.Debug("can't spin titles, using fallback", "err", err)
+		return uuid.NewString()
+	}
+
+	return result
+}
+
+func (i *Impl) ServeHTTP(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) {
+	t0 := time.Now()
+
+	id := r.PathValue("id")
+	if id == "" {
+		id = uuid.NewString()
+	}
+
+	stage := r.PathValue("stage")
+	if stage == "init" {
+		i.lg.Debug("found new entrance point", "id", id, "userAgent", r.UserAgent(), "ip", r.Header.Get("X-Real-Ip"))
+	}
+
+	spins := i.makeSpins()
+	affirmations := i.makeAffirmations()
+	title := i.makeTitle()
+
+	var links []link
+	for _, affirmation := range affirmations {
+		links = append(links, link{
+			href: uuid.NewString(),
+			body: affirmation,
+		})
+	}
+
+	templ.Handler(
+		base(title, i.maze(spins, links)),
+		templ.WithStreaming(),
+		templ.WithStatus(http.StatusOK),
+	).ServeHTTP(w, r)
+
+	t1 := time.Since(t0)
+	honeypot.Timings.WithLabelValues("naive").Observe(float64(t1.Milliseconds()))
+}
+
+type link struct {
+	href string
+	body string
+}

internal/honeypot/naive/page.templ

@@ -0,0 +1,36 @@
+package naive
+
+import "fmt"
+
+templ base(title string, body templ.Component) {
+	<!DOCTYPE html>
+	<html>
+		<head>
+			<style>
+        html {
+          max-width: 70ch;
+          padding: 3em 1em;
+          margin: auto;
+          line-height: 1.75;
+          font-size: 1.25em;
+        }
+      </style>
+			<title>{ title }</title>
+		</head>
+		<body>
+			<h1>{ title }</h1>
+			@body
+		</body>
+	</html>
+}
+
+templ (i Impl) maze(body []string, links []link) {
+	for _, paragraph := range body {
+		<p>{ paragraph }</p>
+	}
+	<ul>
+		for _, link := range links {
+			<li><a href={ templ.SafeURL(fmt.Sprintf("./%s", link.href)) }></a>{ link.body }</li>
+		}
+	</ul>
+}

internal/honeypot/naive/page_templ.go

@@ -0,0 +1,160 @@
+// Code generated by templ - DO NOT EDIT.
+
+// templ: version: v0.3.960
+package naive
+
+//lint:file-ignore SA4006 This context is only used if a nested component is present.
+
+import "github.com/a-h/templ"
+import templruntime "github.com/a-h/templ/runtime"
+
+import "fmt"
+
+func base(title string, body templ.Component) templ.Component {
+	return templruntime.GeneratedTemplate(func(templ_7745c5c3_Input templruntime.GeneratedComponentInput) (templ_7745c5c3_Err error) {
+		templ_7745c5c3_W, ctx := templ_7745c5c3_Input.Writer, templ_7745c5c3_Input.Context
+		if templ_7745c5c3_CtxErr := ctx.Err(); templ_7745c5c3_CtxErr != nil {
+			return templ_7745c5c3_CtxErr
+		}
+		templ_7745c5c3_Buffer, templ_7745c5c3_IsBuffer := templruntime.GetBuffer(templ_7745c5c3_W)
+		if !templ_7745c5c3_IsBuffer {
+			defer func() {
+				templ_7745c5c3_BufErr := templruntime.ReleaseBuffer(templ_7745c5c3_Buffer)
+				if templ_7745c5c3_Err == nil {
+					templ_7745c5c3_Err = templ_7745c5c3_BufErr
+				}
+			}()
+		}
+		ctx = templ.InitializeContext(ctx)
+		templ_7745c5c3_Var1 := templ.GetChildren(ctx)
+		if templ_7745c5c3_Var1 == nil {
+			templ_7745c5c3_Var1 = templ.NopComponent
+		}
+		ctx = templ.ClearChildren(ctx)
+		templ_7745c5c3_Err = templruntime.WriteString(templ_7745c5c3_Buffer, 1, "<!doctype html><html><head><style>\n        html {\n          max-width: 70ch;\n          padding: 3em 1em;\n          margin: auto;\n          line-height: 1.75;\n          font-size: 1.25em;\n        }\n      </style><title>")
+		if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+			return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+		}
+		var templ_7745c5c3_Var2 string
+		templ_7745c5c3_Var2, templ_7745c5c3_Err = templ.JoinStringErrs(title)
+		if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+			return templ.Error{Err: templ_7745c5c3_Err, FileName: `page.templ`, Line: 18, Col: 17}
+		}
+		_, templ_7745c5c3_Err = templ_7745c5c3_Buffer.WriteString(templ.EscapeString(templ_7745c5c3_Var2))
+		if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+			return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+		}
+		templ_7745c5c3_Err = templruntime.WriteString(templ_7745c5c3_Buffer, 2, "</title></head><body><h1>")
+		if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+			return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+		}
+		var templ_7745c5c3_Var3 string
+		templ_7745c5c3_Var3, templ_7745c5c3_Err = templ.JoinStringErrs(title)
+		if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+			return templ.Error{Err: templ_7745c5c3_Err, FileName: `page.templ`, Line: 21, Col: 14}
+		}
+		_, templ_7745c5c3_Err = templ_7745c5c3_Buffer.WriteString(templ.EscapeString(templ_7745c5c3_Var3))
+		if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+			return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+		}
+		templ_7745c5c3_Err = templruntime.WriteString(templ_7745c5c3_Buffer, 3, "</h1>")
+		if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+			return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+		}
+		templ_7745c5c3_Err = body.Render(ctx, templ_7745c5c3_Buffer)
+		if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+			return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+		}
+		templ_7745c5c3_Err = templruntime.WriteString(templ_7745c5c3_Buffer, 4, "</body></html>")
+		if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+			return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+		}
+		return nil
+	})
+}
+
+func (i Impl) maze(body []string, links []link) templ.Component {
+	return templruntime.GeneratedTemplate(func(templ_7745c5c3_Input templruntime.GeneratedComponentInput) (templ_7745c5c3_Err error) {
+		templ_7745c5c3_W, ctx := templ_7745c5c3_Input.Writer, templ_7745c5c3_Input.Context
+		if templ_7745c5c3_CtxErr := ctx.Err(); templ_7745c5c3_CtxErr != nil {
+			return templ_7745c5c3_CtxErr
+		}
+		templ_7745c5c3_Buffer, templ_7745c5c3_IsBuffer := templruntime.GetBuffer(templ_7745c5c3_W)
+		if !templ_7745c5c3_IsBuffer {
+			defer func() {
+				templ_7745c5c3_BufErr := templruntime.ReleaseBuffer(templ_7745c5c3_Buffer)
+				if templ_7745c5c3_Err == nil {
+					templ_7745c5c3_Err = templ_7745c5c3_BufErr
+				}
+			}()
+		}
+		ctx = templ.InitializeContext(ctx)
+		templ_7745c5c3_Var4 := templ.GetChildren(ctx)
+		if templ_7745c5c3_Var4 == nil {
+			templ_7745c5c3_Var4 = templ.NopComponent
+		}
+		ctx = templ.ClearChildren(ctx)
+		for _, paragraph := range body {
+			templ_7745c5c3_Err = templruntime.WriteString(templ_7745c5c3_Buffer, 5, "<p>")
+			if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+				return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+			}
+			var templ_7745c5c3_Var5 string
+			templ_7745c5c3_Var5, templ_7745c5c3_Err = templ.JoinStringErrs(paragraph)
+			if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+				return templ.Error{Err: templ_7745c5c3_Err, FileName: `page.templ`, Line: 29, Col: 16}
+			}
+			_, templ_7745c5c3_Err = templ_7745c5c3_Buffer.WriteString(templ.EscapeString(templ_7745c5c3_Var5))
+			if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+				return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+			}
+			templ_7745c5c3_Err = templruntime.WriteString(templ_7745c5c3_Buffer, 6, "</p>")
+			if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+				return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+			}
+		}
+		templ_7745c5c3_Err = templruntime.WriteString(templ_7745c5c3_Buffer, 7, "<ul>")
+		if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+			return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+		}
+		for _, link := range links {
+			templ_7745c5c3_Err = templruntime.WriteString(templ_7745c5c3_Buffer, 8, "<li><a href=\"")
+			if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+				return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+			}
+			var templ_7745c5c3_Var6 templ.SafeURL
+			templ_7745c5c3_Var6, templ_7745c5c3_Err = templ.JoinURLErrs(templ.SafeURL(fmt.Sprintf("./%s", link.href)))
+			if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+				return templ.Error{Err: templ_7745c5c3_Err, FileName: `page.templ`, Line: 33, Col: 62}
+			}
+			_, templ_7745c5c3_Err = templ_7745c5c3_Buffer.WriteString(templ.EscapeString(templ_7745c5c3_Var6))
+			if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+				return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+			}
+			templ_7745c5c3_Err = templruntime.WriteString(templ_7745c5c3_Buffer, 9, "\"></a>")
+			if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+				return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+			}
+			var templ_7745c5c3_Var7 string
+			templ_7745c5c3_Var7, templ_7745c5c3_Err = templ.JoinStringErrs(link.body)
+			if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+				return templ.Error{Err: templ_7745c5c3_Err, FileName: `page.templ`, Line: 33, Col: 80}
+			}
+			_, templ_7745c5c3_Err = templ_7745c5c3_Buffer.WriteString(templ.EscapeString(templ_7745c5c3_Var7))
+			if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+				return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+			}
+			templ_7745c5c3_Err = templruntime.WriteString(templ_7745c5c3_Buffer, 10, "</li>")
+			if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+				return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+			}
+		}
+		templ_7745c5c3_Err = templruntime.WriteString(templ_7745c5c3_Buffer, 11, "</ul>")
+		if templ_7745c5c3_Err != nil {
+			return templ_7745c5c3_Err
+		}
+		return nil
+	})
+}
+
+var _ = templruntime.GeneratedTemplate